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Legend for my header

Click to embiggen. Yes, my friends! The time has come! No longer will you have to slave away on the internets trying to figure out WTF that-one-toy-in-Epiphora's-header is. No longer will you have to...

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Review: Comet G Wand

It's only February, and the Jopen Key Comet G Wand has a very good chance of being the best sex toy I try all year. I am, I must say, flabbergasted. I mean, this is Jopen we're talking about. Jopen,...

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Guest Review: Comet G Wand

Usually it takes a bit of time for my screaming endorsements to seep into the consciousness of my readers. Especially when the toys I love cost a pretty penny. But not this time. I flailed about the...

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Terrible sex toys I used to lust after

In 2007 when I started reviewing sex toys, I knew nothing about them. Oh, I knew that jelly was bad in theory, but I hadn't yet smelled the rancid, gooey, overpowering scent that characterizes it, or...

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Review: Jopen Vanity VR1

The Jopen Vanity VR1 kegel balls have offended my vagina. Deeply. They are supposed to vibrate when squeezed. Oh, in my hand they do. In my hand they do. In my vagina, no matter how hard I clench,...

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Review: Comet II Wand

Bloggers created a wave of hysteria following the release of the Jopen Key Comet G Wand. "It effortlessly strokes the fuck out of my G-spot and makes me thank my lucky stars I was born with a vagina,"...

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Sex toy news: worm-like vibrators and cheeseburger ball gags

Since we last spoke, LELO has gone a bit insane with the new releases. They've now put out the Ina/Mona Wave, [edit: review here!] Siri 2 [edit: review here!], Pino, and PicoBong Transformer. Thoughts...

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Review: Ceres Lace

I believe the texture on this toy is supposed to be swanky, but my friend says it reminds him of a chain-link fence. So that's a great association... if you're into prison-inspired sex toys. My...

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Sex toy news: rimming butt plugs and LELO’s gravest mistake

Easily the most exciting news this time around comes from Doxy, who previewed several shiny bullet vibes at ETO, both AC-powered and rechargeable. According to David, they're almost certainly more...

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Sex toy news: bionic dildos and a bundle of alien fingers

Yay, the Canadian cuties at Fuze have four new suction cup dildos: Flame, Major (uncut and girthy!), Freddie, and Star. They can attach to each other, too, to make a custom double-ended dildo....

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